One year on....

Happy Blogoversary to moi.

A year ago today I started my blog.

A year ago I was in such a dark place. A month had passed since my miscarriage and a good friend who had been nothing but supportive suggested that bloging was a good way to talk about how I feel without the need for justification.
I genuinly believed that it would only read by myself (and D) and that it would be ike a dear diary job.
How wrong I was.

In the year I've blogged I've come across some greta folk. Folk that understand all I've been going through and all that I still am going through. I've forever greatful for that support. You all know who you are, so thanks.
Enough of the mushy stuff, it's too late in the evening for that.

A year ago today I didn't know where I'd be a year down the line. I was hoping that I'd be running around after a little'un or big as a house but alas it has not turned out that way. Never did I think it would be as tough as it has been. The emotional rollercoaster I jumped on (or was pushed on) was not the as gentle as I hoped it to be.
There have been so many tears and low moments.. even some real rock bottom times and I can only say that I feel so very lucky to have survived the rough times. It's still hard, of course it is. I'm not pregnant. I don't have a 7 month old to mother like I should have, but I am becoming more and more optimistic as each day passes.
It's strange. In the 5 weeks since my one year since MC has passed I've found my attitude towards trying to concieve has changed. I've not obsessed over when I should be ovulating. I haven't tested when my period was due. Last cycle I just got on with expecting my period so that I could mive on to the next month. It's times like these that someone would expect to fall pregnant.. that old cliche of 'relax and it'll happen' - does anyone else find this irritating when announced to them?! no? just me then.
Don't mistake me for someone who has loss interest..it's just that constant let down each month can affect a girl y'know?

My life is ok. I have a wonderful husband. We moved house and it was such a great thing to do. We're both happier. The cake is looking good. If only the icing was that little bit more in reach.