Worrying times

One of my aims for 2009 is to see in the end of the year with our beloved Labrador Tessa with us still. She turns 13 in July, which is a great age for a Lab to reach. However no sooner have I thought about it that Tessa has other Ideas.
On Weds night I was in bed around 11pm and was just nodding off when I heard the most horrifying screaming comning from downstairs. Hubby and I both flew down the stairs to see to Tessa who was laying so so still and looking completely blank - no gaze, not looking at anything particular, just a complete glazed and almost "dirty look" expression. We made a fuss of her as is the norm when she wakes howling/barking from a bad dream but it was no good. She would not acknoledge hubby and I and I really had to get super enthusuastic to get her to come to me 3 feet away. She would not move, just lay with her face elevated slightly from her front paws and staring into nothing.

We both lay there with her for about half hour stroking her and talking gently to her and she seemed to drift off to sleep so we left her. When I got up yesterday morning it took a lot for her to get up and walk about and when I first went to her, she yelped a little. It wasn't a yelp of pain, but I can't describe it. As the day progressed she seemed to perk up and we had a play after dinner with some treats.
I thought this was a one off and thought she'd be ok until 4am this morning I heard it again.. the shrieking - it's such a haunting sound.
I must if been half asleep because I never got up to see to her, I heard her pad about the sitting room for a while (slowly I add - it's a wooden floor and every step was about 5 seconds apart). It stopped so I hoped she'd gone back to her bed.

Upon waking this morning and throughout the day she's not herself. Laying in her bed so sad and still, without any energy to move. She looks so sad when I go to her, and each time I call her to come to me she comes so slowly and just rests her head on my chest facing down.

I'm not sure what's going on - was it a bad dream that's haunting her? Is she in pain in another place other than all the places I've stroked her? Hubby suggests maybe she's slept funny and when she goes to move it's too painful - I on the other hand am less optomistic. She's 12 and a half, it's only a matter of time but I'm holding off a visit to the vet. Im hoping it may pass without the need for a ver to tell me the inevitable.

Tessa means so much to me that I'd do anything for her.. monitoring her is all we can do at the moment and hope that this is a episode that will pass. Her uncle passed away when he was 12 a few years back with a tumour in his back and her mother had a brain tumour which she could not survive from. We owned both when I lived with the folks and Tessa has been with me since she left her mothers' womb.

I can't bear to lose her and although I am not a religious person - I believe there are folk that watch over me, My beloved Nan especially. So nan, please watch over Tessa and do all you can to prevent her from joining you anytime soon. I'm not ready to say goodbye to her yet, the grief we suffer from September is all too raw still and I cannot handle another loss.

It may seem so odd to blog about a dog and get so emotional about it but to me (and others naturally) my dog is my family, I'd be heart broken if anything happened to her. I cried for days and took time off work when she was at the vets for a hysterectomy 2 years ago. No words can explain what I'd feel if she left us.

For those that believe in a higher power, I ask you to pray for Tessa.

Thanks for listening.